Africa, almost half way done.

Next week will mark the half way point to our 3 month stay here in Ethiopia. I have exteremly mixed feelings. The thought of leaving this place, and these amazing people make me want to cry. But the thought of going to a normal restaurant and ordering meat is very exciting. Deanna and I talk about going to Chipolte the day we get back very often. We have have a plan with Momma Donna (Deanna's mom) to bring us some when she picks us up from the airport. She agreed! I love me some Momma Donna!!!

Anyway, this place has a way of creeping into your heart, and I don't know if I can ever get rid of it. I don't know if I even want to... For all of the modern convieniences that I miss, it really does not matter. I have learned so much about myself these past few weeks, and who I want to be, and who I think God wants me to be. I am just waiting to see if He wants me to stay here, or to stay in America. I also learned that as much as Ben had broken my heart, I am so, so glad I am no longer with him! For a long time I had put on a fake smile, and pretended to be okay, but it was not until recently that I realized how awful my life would have been if that relationship had worked out. (maybe not awful, but defenitly not great). I am in a much better place, and am very happy for it! Being here also shows how much crap I have that I don't need, and really don't want. I am excited to get home and go through all of my stuff, and get rid of everything I don't use/need. I have a lot. Why? I have no idea. Just a big waste of money.

I know I have said this multiple times, but it still amazes me. The people here are sooo amazingly nice. And the kids! I love them all! I love that if I take one step out of my compound the kids immedialty yell "Kendra!" :) My heart has never felt so full, and also so broken at the same time. I want to do anything, and everything I can to help them. Sitting in church (the small, African church) the other day, I sat next to a lady who had a itty bitty baby in a sling. When she unwrapped the sling, the baby was in the dirtiest shirt (only a shirt) I had ever seen. It was supposed to be white, but was so discolored and brown it looked like it was washed in mud. I don't know if you people in America can even imagine it. When Dylan (the boy I nannied for) got his clothed dirty, we either changed them right away, or threw the clothes away. The mom saw me staring at the baby, and held him out for me to hold. I am not kidding, I don't think the sweet baby had ever had a bath. He STUNK. So badly. I would guess that the shirt was the only thing he had to wear, and the family either lived on the streets, or in a tiny room, with a dirt floor for a bed. The mother did not smell very good either. Bathing is probably the last concern she has for her family.

If eating some not so great food (mostly meat) is something I have to deal with :::Sidenote: I fit into my "skinny pants" today!!!! YES!::: Then that is something I am more than willing to do to get to help these people! I told the mom that next time I saw her I would bring wipes and a onesie for the baby. Poor thing.

By the way, happy valentines day to my american loves! It is celebrated here, but not to the same extent as it is in America. Amare has clamed that I am his valentine ;) Deanna and I treated ourselves to a yummy breakfast, and decorated cookies to give to out African peeps! I made one specially for Desta (our guard) it says "Desta, NAH! Which means "Desta, Come" which is what we yell when we need him to let us into the compound. He loved it. later tonight we are going to lay out and look at the stars. It is becoming a daily routine, that we bring blankets, pillows, and music out, and whatever african is around will lay with us. At first they did not get it. Once they saw how excited we were to see shooting stars (seriously, the most amazing sight ever. They are SOOOO bright here!) I think they understood a little. They still think we are weird, but are not as surprised by our antics.

This place is amazing.